HISAP SUA

perhaps the running theme for this week is music... or rather precisely, as it seems, depressing music...

for a couple of days, i have been spacing out ( you know, when u someone stares or gaze into the empty space)... Felicia has often caught me doing that, but those were for different reasons... ok, before i ramble on here they are...

Next 5 most depressing Songs

Send in the Clowns - Frank Sinatra (written by Stephen Sondheim)

of cos, in this instance, big blue eye didnt write the songs nor the lyrics... but i cant imagine who else would be able to blanket that piece of music with such sadness and melancholy. i think only his voice could.

when all is lost, only laughter can save the day... so ... send in the clowns...

how depressing is that!

Something - the Beatles

eversince the beatles departed from their rather cheery ourlook of the world through the album Revolver, their songs have been more ponderous and talk about questions rather than giving answers... a more philosophical outlook...

You're asking me love will grow,
i dont know, i dont know,
you stick around now, it may show
i dont know, i dont know...

complimented by a haunting melody...

compare this with their earlier work...

and when i get home to you,
and see all the things that you do,
you know it will be alright... (A Hard Day's Night)

any objections?

The Wild Ones - Suede

in the 80s, the British pop movement were led by conservative Thatcherism, Spandau Ballet, Duran Duran, New World Order... though they may write sad love songs, it isnt the same as depressing songs... well writing sad love songs actually shows that the other part of your life is so good that you can waste so much time on love... however, the 90s featured bands like Oasis, Radiohead, Suede, Blur... who took the energy of 70s punk into pop music...

their music didnt deal with comfortable issues... but issues of death, dying, and departure... and there is not turning back!

its a shame the plane's leaving on this sunny day...
my tattoo will be bleeding and the name will stain...

doesnt sound like you are my sunshine .... you make me happy... doesnt it??

A Thousand Years - Sting

During his recent concert in Singapore, this song played last... let me just say, if not for kleenex, the Singapore Indoor Stadium would have surely been flooded...

Steve Lukather's Guitar Solo in Wont Hold You Back - Toto

alright, not many people might understand this. so i will try my best to explain.

let me ask you a question. have you heard the wailing of a mother who had just lost her baby... well to say the very least, this guitar solo sounds like it... it wails so hauntingly, that it is beautiful...

iwan enters the botanic garden looking for a yellowgerberas...

if only the world is as lovely as thee...

as i scour the insides of my body and soul, i have found that i have a large amount of depressing songs in my Itunes. not that i am connected to my computer but my collection of songs in Itunes definitely reflects my personality. which brings to mind a very important question?

am i a depressing, cynical, pessimistic person?

i am not going to answer those questions in this blog.

Okri mentioned that there are many riddles in this world that only the dead can answer...

however, what i am going to do is to list down my top ten most depressing songs... and (another) however, another question arises... how do these selected songs qualify as the most depressing? is it based on the amount of tears one shed while listening to the songs? or is it based of the pain it sticks to one's heart emotion... if so, again, how is it valued? the difficulty in valuing these pieces of artwork is enormous because we are dealing with something intangible... the human heart...

i also cant be biased towards once artist and ignore the other...which means i have a preference for something and unashamedly biased towards another... this i will attempt not to indulge in cos... it would be grossly unfair... or wouldnt it... then how about the songs that i havent heard of before... or how about songs in other languages apart from English....

and then, upon further ponder and wonder, no matter what i come up with, i will not be able to conclude this pointless exercise without being biased in one form or another... so to my readers out there, what the heck!! i shall do it, because i feel it is right...

in any case, i shall put my intelligence on the line... i shall risk being stupid, looking stupid, appearing moronic... nevertheless, i shall gain the satisfaction of exorcising the ghost of depressing songs...

anyways here they are....

Top Five Most Depressing Songs
not in order of merit

Say Hello to Heaven - Temple of the Dog... the album and band is called Temple of the Dog... most of the songs were written by Chris Cornell (of Soundgarden and Audioslave fame). it is a tribute to a late friend, Andrew Wood... true, the lyrics were sad and depressing...

eg.
The star was your playground
and the ground was your bed....

nevertheless, this song got my vote because it was the first song that brought me to tears after listening to it for the first time... this happened way back in 1992...

Fake Plastic Trees - RadioHead .... Radiohead has been known to churn out an enormous number of depressing songs... Creep was a loserish song... o god, i luvd that song... High and Dry was perhaps, after queensryche's Silent Lucidity was the alienation song.... but Fake Plastic's melody did it for me... how more sad can it get...

You will always be the same - David Gray ...first and foremost, everytime i try to play this song (that means sing and play on my acoustic) i could not cause i wud not be able to get by the second line without shedding a tear... (o yes i am a crybaby though i am not emo bitch) .... with that i rest my case....

Redemption Song - Bob Marley ... wat kind of music would a lowly educated, ganja smoking man would ever possibly weave... people always suspect that he writes party songs ( yes they do!!!) ... i mean the whole raggae concept definitely is a get high and dance and lots of romping later kind of culture but lest not be forgotten that it also turned the tables against Mental Oppression... this song summarises the Oppression the colonised have felt since the Europeans decided to civilised the rest of the world... (ya rite!)

... these songs of freedom
is all i ever have... redemption song...

Bob Marley is a ganja smoking genius...

In My Darkest Hour - Megadeth ... Dave Mustaine (of Megadeth fame, a heavy metal band) was a close friend of Cliff Burton (Metallica's dead bassist) ... he died in a car crash when their tour bus got into an accident... this song has more anger than anything... but for a metal head, Dave Mustaine sure is a sensitive dude... tsk tsk...

she called me thrice today!... how sweet is that!
i miss her dearly too... my rambutan girl...

As the title suggest, yes, i have a snoring problem... and i fear it shall be a very big problem... let me let it out, let me get it in the open...

I HAVE A SNORING PROBLEM!!!!

believe it or not, not many will admit it... i have taken a step towards solving it ( but no promises yet) ... just a step, a tiny step, by admitting thate i have a snoring problem... ok that is, i believe, the third time i have said it... the snoring problem ( now that is four, in such a short space of time)... well, i havent heard of anyone divorcing their better half because of that, and i think i do not want to create history...

it is unlike, for example, if u have problems with ur prowessness in bed... because that easily solved with a move or two or with a bit of sensitivity... but this is a physical problem, probably more like if you have problem with the size of your dick kind.... get wat i mean?... however, the problem with that problem (is this one of those repetitive problems?) is that once you have accepted and reconciled with the fact that it doesnt get any bigger than that you dont have a problem.. in other words, you cant ignore it!

i dont know how my ex-gfs can stand it!!! they must have really liked me or they were really really really really.... ok really to the power of infinity, sound sleepers... NOT!!!! Dilah Aidid, can u explain, how u could have ignored that problem????

is this too depressing or is it an eye-opener? ok i shall not lament... what i would do is to ask a doctor friend to solve this problem...

irawan hears the sound of ... ch-ching!!!.. Money...

there are a few things that has been bugging me for the past few days...

read the girl's blog and was wondering what he will miss when he leaves Perth...

1-its laidback lifestyle... its isolation....

2-Mr Samurai and Moon Cafe....

3-being creative and weird

4-being praised for being creative and weird... not being given the kind of look that you would get in Singapore....

5-being respected and not looked down upon despite working as a cleaner in SunMicrosystems or as a cook in Temasek Cafe...

6-Not being asked what you are going to do with a Degree in Creative Writing and English...duh!

7-not being told that Writing is synonymous with Journalism... double duh!

9-the abso-fucking-lutely fabulous Fs - Felicia and Fidah

10-the weather

Hence, those are the Top ten things that i will miss...

No, irawan has not forgotten about the girl, he just feels that she deserves a separate tribute of her own... doesnt want to relegate her as a mere David Letterman's list of lists...

the moon over Perth (or perhaps elsewhere in the world) is close to being full... perhaps in a day or two... the haze has receded... for now... and things are looking up...

Irawan misses SSK dearly...

and Felicia, i really do love you...

had been listening to the super depressing music of radiohead.... all i can say is that they are so depressing, and i am not talking about sad my-boyfren-girlfriend-left me depression... but the world is ending depression... and they are so depressing it makes me feel good... that and soundgarden... people say, grunge was epitomised by Nirvana.... i think dats just because Kurt Cobain killed himself... but every grunge freak (including me) knows that the driving force of grunge was actually MotherLoveBone.... wic spawned two bands.... Pearl Jam and Soundgarden... but Soundgarden have broken up... why? WHY!!! WHHHHYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

irawan throws his hands up in the air as the rain pelts the ground, lightning zaps the tree just missing him and thunder roaring non stop.....

too bad i cant be listening to Soundgarden cos i dont have my Mac with me.... but i think it is all for the better... stops me from being very cynical... i shall not say 'i can be very cynical' cos i think there are many people out there who are very cynical... or rather more cynical i am.... i wont do the Pelita....

ok there is this girl from my school, she luvd to say this line in response to something somebody had said, (probably to piss her off...)

dont make me angry, you wouldnt like me when i am angry....

heard this line before? of cos u have! remember Incredible Hulk? no not Eric Bana, the Computer generated green monster.... but Lou Ferigno (did i spell it right?) Incredible Hulk... and Dr David Banner was Bill Bixby... remember that haunting piano theme that is played everytime the credits rolls out... i think that is one of the saddest melodies i have ever heard... welll apart from radiohead's wailing... ok ok... if i am not mistaken, it was in the first few episodes when Mr McGhee... the reporter who has been hunting for the Hulk turns up in Dr Banner's lab and starts asking intrusive questions... that he said those magic golden line....

well Pelita quit after a year... wait a minute... not even a year.... and she went home with a trace ful of debts.... ok shant say anything else.... lets leave it at that...

ok here comes....

PLay of the Day....

Characters, Chucky, Iman

*director's note: there are about 8 of them. but there were only two speaking roles.

so the boys arrives at Zouk around 9pm... which is relatively early... everyone was excited to watch... DJ Norman Cook a.k.a. FatBoy Slim... i think he wasnt really a massive star yet... but he was promoting his first album, right here right now...

Chucky: eh banyak orang... tiket dah beli? (look at the people... have u bought the tickets?)

Iman: ah ahlah... tiket dengan Wak (yes.. the tickets with Wak)

Pause

Chucky looks at the girls. looks at the people. and looks at the Banner on top of Zouk.

Chucky: eh man... apa dia tulis ni?! (reads the banner) DJ Norman Cook aku Fatboy Slim.... (what does it say)

Baik ah Chucky!!!!

Characters: Sufian, Chucky

Sufian and Chucky are having tea at Makmur Restaurant. cars passes by in droves. there are moment when it is quiet.

Chucky: dah lama tak jumpa Saddiq (been a while since i've seen saddiq)

Sufian: sibuklah (probably he's busy)

Chucky: aku dengar2 ada cerita ( i've heard rumours about them)

Sufian: fasal apa?

Chucky: bini dia suspecting (his wife is suspecting)

BAIK AH!!!!

yesterday was fozzil's birthday.... can you believe it, he is 29... i really really thought that he is still in high school... i swear he could be .... well anyway, why and how come i didnt get such a reception on my birthday...

irawan feels nausea and feels like vomitting....

ok kidding, anyway you know who was the master of ceremony cum organiser cum best friend cum kamlan and cum shot over the face? Sivaramakrishna B...

irawan breaks into a song called A la la la la Ram.... (to the tune of Inner Circle' s A La la la long song) he had to stop singing because ..... he opens his mouth again and feels like vomitting...

this is how we were seated.... long table... about 1, 2, 3....16 pple... 7 on each longer sides and 2 on either heads get it? if u dont get it u a really bad in your math.... GROW UP! People! anyway, i think it was mightily nice of Commander Ram to organise such an event.... o wait a minute.... someone wishes to spit on his cake...

amongst all the happy faces there was a frowning one... she is looking at everyone from the corner of the eye...

do i have to put up with this? already i have had the pleasure of this masquerade, well actualy its becos i value the friendship more than anything... i wish him all the best... good on ya mate... but if u screw me up once again... just once again... hell hath no fury for an irawan scorned!

irawan sips... that becomes gulp... ooopsss he finished the iced teh tarik at one go.... baik AH!!! aduh!!!! brain freeze.....

serenity... serenity... serenity.......

the view outside is so surreal... there is a bush fire somewhere in the towards the north of perth...