getting in touch with a long lost (not exactly) someone...
i have been meaning to get in touch with someone since last June. for some reason, weeks prior to that someone's birthday, i had that dire need to speak to that person. however (for another some reason) i couldnt blantantly send an email or downright give that someone a call. why? i do not know. do you know? what and how it feels to try and get in touch with someone whom you have done wrong to? the feeling of embarrassment or is it shamefulness (sort of), regret ( definitely) and perhaps fear (most rightfully) engulfs me everytime i stare at the computer screen with that someone's email address filling in those blanks and you have finished typing the letters which includes 'i am sorry, please forgive me' in it... or staring at your mobile or Lan phone or the public phone after you have keyed in the PIN number of your calling card and all you have to do is to dial that person's number... or completed typing a text message and pausing as you were about to press the SEND dial...
have you? have you? have you?
and then you resort to looking for that person on the internet... which is of course a futile exercise... but surprisingly, you found that person, and not only that! you found a JPEG image of that someone gracing the virtual screen ... and suddenly your heart throbs, short of breath, and suggestions of passing out lingers in the outskirts of your body...
take a piece of marlboro lights, light it, and stare into empty space...
staring into empty space; the girl is good at it...
she reckons she is good at it... being detached... maybe not...
being detached is good...
either that or leave the country for a couple of years...
it isnt easy being detached because the addresses of one's minds brings the emotions and memories that one wants to forget...
gradually and slowly that might happen... but the key words are, gradually and slowly...
i can still remember the most painful memories, i can still remember the face and i can summon the flood of tears at will...
solution; be detached.. be detached...
or be good, be nice... love like it is the last day of your life...
cos when it's gone, it's gone...
dont worry dear, when your gang is here you wont be as 'attached' if that is what you are afraid of...
but search for the elusive spock continues...
have you? have you? have you?
and then you resort to looking for that person on the internet... which is of course a futile exercise... but surprisingly, you found that person, and not only that! you found a JPEG image of that someone gracing the virtual screen ... and suddenly your heart throbs, short of breath, and suggestions of passing out lingers in the outskirts of your body...
take a piece of marlboro lights, light it, and stare into empty space...
staring into empty space; the girl is good at it...
she reckons she is good at it... being detached... maybe not...
being detached is good...
either that or leave the country for a couple of years...
it isnt easy being detached because the addresses of one's minds brings the emotions and memories that one wants to forget...
gradually and slowly that might happen... but the key words are, gradually and slowly...
i can still remember the most painful memories, i can still remember the face and i can summon the flood of tears at will...
solution; be detached.. be detached...
or be good, be nice... love like it is the last day of your life...
cos when it's gone, it's gone...
dont worry dear, when your gang is here you wont be as 'attached' if that is what you are afraid of...
but search for the elusive spock continues...
Finger Acrobatics Performed
On Tuesday, February 22, 2005 at 2:42 pm.
Skip It and Leave Some!
