HISAP SUA

Before Perth, i've never had anyone coming up to me to offer the words of praise with regards to my looks.

dont get me wrong, i am not looking for one...

personally, if i do get it fine and good, but if i dont it doesnt affect me in any minute sort of way.

it is just a thought that raced through my mind as i was reading 'waiterrant.com' about a customer whom waiterrant called Sir Richard Burton because of the baritone similiraties. waiterrant even went on to speculate that Sir Richard might have gotten a lay or two on the strength of his voice alone. the fact that he talks too much reflects that his narcissm extends to his voice.

now, that'll be an ego trip...

in any case, like i was saying, such words of praise in my home country are often reserved for celluloid figments of imaginations or creatures from lands far far away.

which was quite a shock for me when a few years ago in Perth that two North American girls hurled despicable vocabularies such as 'cute' and 'hot' at me. i didnt know what to make out of that. it is quite amazing... hell it was the same time when my then girlfriend openly confessed that i wasnt good looking at all. i didnt really think much of it back then and it just crossed my mind thinking about this ego trip...

i am just happy, i have no hideous scars on my face. thank God.

saying 'i miss you' doesnt quite cut it for me...

i would understand and feel what has been uttered to the fullest if someone says it to me. however, i feel, whenever i say it, i have shortchanged my target audience.

it probably sounds a bit cliche that my words do not describe my emotions and meaning fully. however, it doesnt quite grasp the truth when i think i have.

maybe a song or a few songs might explain 30 percent of the meaning. or perhaps an additional a few films might add another 20 percent. nevertheless, that's a mere 50 percent. i have little clue in which i would be able to attain the rest. if it is even possible.

even the best authors have never been quite satisfied with their little pieces of literatures... it must be remembered that any pieces of artwork is an extension of a philosophy. so they often question themselves as to whether they have profoundly expounded on those ideas.

missing a person is an 'idea' in some respects.

it is the image and emotion conjured up when a person who have been a big part of the person's life isnt physically there.

on top of that, different languages have either managed to grasp that concept or ultimately fail to understand it...

for example,i have learnt in the Japanese language there is no such lexicon.

they only have this phrase (loosely translated):
'i am sad because you are not here.'

in the Malay/Indonesian language there are a few...

rindu, damba, kangen...

so the debate rages...

i still maintain that those words dont quite cut it for me maybe because my expectations are a bit too high. perhaps a soundtrack needs to accompany it. just like a film without incidental music would sound or barely sound...

probably it's a process. for that, i'd probably need at least a paragraph or two or at least a blog entry which i am currently doing...

however, why do i still have that nagging feeling that my mission isnt complete...

oh well... at least i tried. and i shall try again in not so many words....

i miss you very much...