HISAP SUA

let's not talk about how we got a little lost on our way there. it is a no discussion really and absofuckinglutely no fault of hers. blame the navigators. o man but had it been a battle situation, we'd sure be in a lot of shit. but i didnt mind really, maybe it was blanketed by the nerve and excitement i was feeling.

the Olsen's Cottage was really cosy. it was exactly how i had imagined it to be due to my prior experience being in one. lots of chickens. a sheep. lime trees. lemon trees. orange trees. mandarin orange trees. the compulsory little workshed. and a bunch of hospitable people.

meeting everyone ( not for the first time) was an experience. there was Mom and Pop. Elaine, Sheila, K(C?)arl, Ken(t?), and Dennis and of course Scott, Ashley and two other kids that i dont remember their names.

i was quiet. relatively. the whole time. which is actually usual. but little did i know that Mom was quering.

i was just squaring and sizing them all up. its better that way cause, if it doesnt go well (not too badly, i hope) the first time, things can always improve. i wasnt my normal chatty self. just listening. these people after all are my seniors and perhaps not wanting to look too smart alecky, which can be bad... and spell doom...

so under the influence of red wine and beer and lamb and salads... we got on the day... indeed there were few awkward movements... they did ask me a few questions... but as soon as i answered them, they'd start talking about themselves... and i wonder why they wonder i am quiet... there is a threading fine line between being bold and rude... so just being careful not to step on anyone's toes... from where i come from i dont begin when someone else hasnt ended... but that is just me, i guess... to each their own...

the ended well. we got off when it was getting dark...

as we walked away, from a distant, Ken(t) shouted: 'dont do anything i wouldnt do, but if you do it... do it well.'

later that night we were supposed to go for a movie but dear Jacky Teo decided otherwise... time for a gathering of the ISC committee for an informal gathering...

i am an outsider, always have been...

but i absolutely love her dearly...

it is confirmed...

i shall go back home for my brother's wedding in June and i have absolutely no excuse this time... my papa has just telegraphed money into my bank account... i dont know whether that's good or bad... yes of coz that's good you stupid idiotic man... but as far as feelings are concerned i am a bit confused... why you may ask? part of me says that its good that i am going home for my brother's wedding, yes the one who is married to the psycho bitch... and good that i get to see all my friends... eventhough at this moment they are all a pain in the ass.. saying how good it is to be married... ok you not so very ambitious little pricks, whaddaya know??? ok sorry for that burst of anger... well they have their lives now... and i have mine...

perhaps its time for me to play catch up with all the people i miss... my mama for example, my little brothers and sisters... the adorable one.. mega... who is now by no means little... she is pretty tall.... really ... i have not seen her in a while now...

plus there are some stuffs that i need to settle in singapore... baggage... excess baggage... well i will just hang out for a while in that tiny suffocating island... as Nana mentioned last night...

my shayang has been having a 'hard time' for the past few days... aka assignments... which is due today... a 2500 word essay... who gives an assignment at this time of the semester? o i gotta pity her... she is trying her best juggling between responsibilities... she is a superwoman.. dunno how she does it... but kudos to that...

was kinda waiting for her to call last nite when i fell asleep while listening to Tower of Power... and then she called about 2 am... i think it rang for like an eternity before i picked it up... didnt realise she had already sent a sms... she had to repeat the sms in verbal...

gotta a saturday gig at king's park... acoustic set with Sasha....

set list

Dream a little dream of me
baby can i hold you tonite
more than words
angel of mine
breathe in now
strong enough
this love

this of cos is not in any the order that we shall proceed... that shall be solved on thurday... our final practice session at 1....

this is a very biased opinion... and it is by no means perfect... and no apologies that there not many albums after 2000..

Axis: Bold as Love - Jimi Hendrix (if anyone is interested in this one, should get the latest that had been released by the Hendrix Estate... definitely superior sound instead of the drab ones that a lot rip offs releases)

Led Zeppelin 2 and No Quarter - Led Zeppelin
even though they released the breakthrough album as MTV generation would say, it wasnt until the second release that confirms their talents as songwriters and studio musicians... before this album was made... an album sound would mean, drum track on the left and guitars on the centre and vocals and bass on the right.. how awful is that? it would probably be alrght on a monogram but not on stereo... this is perhaps on the same level as George Lucas' revolutionary take on Cinema viewing and listening...

in 1990 they reunited ( of cos without Bonham and Jones) and released No Quarter. a collaboration with the Egyptian Philharmonic and its Traditional Subset... resulting and a very groovy sound...

Achtung Baby and Zooropa - U2
after Joshua Tree and Rattle n Hum they were the biggest band in the world by far. so how to follow up that successs... The Edge created a new guitar sound that doesnt sound like a guitar... that experiement was limited in Achtung Baby... though it wins by far because of its songwriting... favourite track: Mysterious Ways.

Zooropa is still spinning in my head after all these years... it proves that using electronic gadgets doesnt mean a consistent boring beat and a lot of headache... it has a futuristic sound that most bands try to emulate but ultimately failed nowadays... fav track - babyface...

OK Computer and The Bends - RadioHead...

Tom Yoke is so depressing .... need i say more... anthems for losers... gives me comfort with the notion that losers are cool....

The New Standards - Herbie Hancock.
instead of digging into the old Fake Book Herbie Hancock dug into The Old and New Pop Book... indeed, these are the new standard music of our time... excellent interpretations...

Bing Bing Bing - Charlie Hunter Trio
Funk, Soul, Jazz Swing Beats and a bit of Bee Bop... he is DA MAN...

The Number of the Beast - Iron Maiden. Somwhere in the early 80s and perhaps late 90s... was the New British Metal Wave... they spearheaded the Wave with a Tsunami. even though had previously released two albums, it wasnt until the arrival of Bruce Dickinson that they were on full throttle... fav track 22 Acacia Avenue

Live at Last - Black Sabbath. when Ozzie was at his best. recorded in 1981. they were the heaviest of the heaviest of bands... no pro tools here. raw energy and power and dissent. nothing manufactured here. its depressing to see how he appears to be nowadays.

TOTO IV - Toto. does anybody remember them? they won a series of Grammys in 1982 including best record and album. this is a gem for musicians... a time when musicianship was valued above style. fav track... Rosanna.

Seven - Prince. this was the year before he got tired of Warner Bros and started to sue them. and the album in which he first used the name... the artist formerly known as prince. a second collaboration with the New Power Generation... excellent songwriting here and of cos... he has style... though a bit out there but ... he can do whatever he wants... he is a genius.. fav track - morning paper...

Automatic for the People - REM. the follow up album after Losing my Religion. Stipe is one of the worst singers in the world. and REM is one of the worst bands in the world. but the writing and song writing are top notch. so sue me for loving them!!! fav track- evrybody hurts.

i will stop here... becos this is taking its toll....

here is the list of the future....

Passion and Warfare - Steve Vai

Surfing with the Alien - Joe Satriani

So What and Bitches Brew - Miles Davis

off the wall - micheal jackson

Listener Supported - Dave Matthews Band

Ten Summoner's Tale - Sting

Syncronicity - the Police

Live in Dublin - Van Morrison

the miseducation of Lauryn Hill - Lauryn Hill

Janet - Janet Jackson

the very best of Frank - Frank Sinatra

it's a kind of magic - Queen

Live Baby Live - INXS

Hysteria - Def Leppard

Battle of Los Angeles - Rage Against the Machine

Temple of the Dog - Temple of the Dog

Yield - Pearl Jam

Running in the Family - Level 42

The sounds of silence - the beastie boys

Rust in Peace - Megadeth

mirrorball - Sarah Mclahlan

Live in San Francisco - Tower of Power

Live in Monterrey - Carlos Santana

Trial by Live - Journey

we are in love - harry connick jr

Marching out - Yngwie J Malmsteen

the Dark Side of the Moon - Pink Floyd

i just got off the phone with a long time good friend of mine who was complaining to me about his girlfriend... he asked, 'despite having everything, when something is wrong in your relationship, the whole world seems to crash down on you...'

i smiled and replied, ' why should you ask me?'

after which he answered, ' because you are the relationship expert.'

i laughed out loud. whoever gave me that honour is an idiot who deserves to be shot.

doesnt mean you have had a few in the bag, doesnt qualify you as an expert. believe me. even if you have had practise, and lots of them you might have, you would be at lost all the time. you suddenly become a teenager who has never been kissed. in other words it doesnt get any easier.

the first part of the relationship is always the most wonderful. it is called the honeymoon period.

the second part is almost always the most difficult. this is the part where couples break up.

the third, even though as difficult as the first is the part when you have all the cards laid out. you know everything about your other half. but the problem is, you'd go.... '.. and now what?' time of trial and error. this is perhaps the longest.

but with any luck you'd get to the final part (although by no means the end) everything falls into place. it is by no means no plain sailing, but it is relatively the most wonderful. the first part is wonderful because of its innocence but this final part is great because of its maturity. there are no sparks and fireworks but the fire of love keeps you warm and contented. just imagine a cold, cold night and all you want to do is sit by the fire (even though it is more practical to say heater but it isnt as romantic) and feel warm.

in any case, to answer that question that dear friend had posed to me, is that, because she means the world to you. and if she is the world to you then when something is wrong there, your world, my dear friend, comes tumbling down.

since i am in a reflective mood, here is a list of movies that i have watched over the years that i would watch over and over again... the list of movies arent exactly impressive but i am not here to impress anybody...

the blues brothers
monsoon wedding
reality bites
singles
dead poets society
butch and the sundance kid (remember that bicycle-romantic scene, soundtrack- BJ Thomas' raindrops keep fallin on my head?)
the sting
50 first dates
1201
groundhog day
space odyssey 2001
clockwork orange
the message
evil dead
lion of the desert
the shining - stanley kubrick version
ET
Indiana Jones Trilogy
Star Wars Trilogy (or soon to be a sextet)
The Matrix (only the first one, the rest are crap... utterly crap)
good morning vietnam
When Harry Met Sally
Sleepless in Seattle
You've Got Mail
Malcolm X
Close encounters of the Third Kind
Lord of the Rings Trilogy
East Meets West
Pappilon (i think that was the title... starring Steve McQueen and featuring Dustin Hoffman as the thick glasses prisoner)
Towering Inferno
Buck Rogers in the 25th Century (for sentimental reasons)
Taxi (the Luc Beeson original)
Yamakasi
Warm water under the bridge
Much Ado About Nothing (Kenneth Branagh version)
Shawshank Redemption
Unforgiven
all of Clint Eastwood's Spagetti Westerns...

i think the list would go on... but that's all came to my mind... for now...

stay tuned...

tomorrow, albums.

there are a few things that you shouldnt do with your loved ones...

1-talk down to them
2-lie
3-give the silent treatment
4-keep things to yourself

if that ever happened, upon reflection you will feel regret...

moving on...

i talked to a good friend of mine. if i remember correctly, the last time i talked to him was 2 and a half years ago. how did it feel? surreal. even though it has been a long lapse, it does feel like you just spoke to them not too long time ago. like you just talked to that person yesterday... really yesterday, yes even as you update to your friend of what has been going on for the years of absence... well probably 2 years isnt quite long time ago...

you reckon?

my two cents worth of advice to anyone who is reading this stupid blog...

say what you mean... and all will be better...

her name was lauren lee...

little cute lady... good taste, no, exquisite taste, extremely bad temper, prone to bouts of unreasonablity (is there such a word?) ...

come to think of it... she never had one nice thing to say about me... its always, she wants this, she wants that,

she will say, ' it is not that i am petty but...' after which, she will bring 'a matter of some significance' up in the discussion...

but she has a good heart...

she does...

i was the arsehole...

its tough looking for the course coordinator... she always as ever elusive... the only time you see her is when you do not need her... well that is always the case...

i am waiting for my bro's email... cos he says he will send photos of his 'adventures' in Acheh... hmmm i wonder wat he did there... i am sure apart from doing the obvious.. which is to help the needy.... he must have a ball of time over there...

this computer lab is not a cool place... but its the only lab in which i could use the mac... (not anti pc at all... just used to mac...)but ECU's system designer are NOT mac user at all ... probably some estate fellow...

apart from its sullen appearance, there are chicks galore... all types, you name it, they've got it... there's one hot one sitting right next to me... maybe i will chat up with her... after i am done...

a red haired just came in... kissed her boyfriend, i think... hmmm let me be a bit kaypoh and see whether they are together....

wait a minute...

doesnt look like it...

maybe i stand a chance ... yea rite!!!

ok gotta go... the search for the elusive course coordinator begins again...

feels like the amazing race...

i have been acting strange lately...

for a while, i didnt know what it was... yes i am that stupid sometimes... the overwhelming, influxing memories that you thought you have gotten rid off... came back... all at once... how am i supposed to deal with it? if anyone knows, please tell me...

unfortunately, my strangeness affected the girl in more ways than once... she said i hadnt laughed for days. which is most definitely true... i have become sullen, and she reckons its the male ego... which she cant stand...

i agree...

and i hate it when it surfaces...

well its either that or a barbaric act of violence... for example a yawp (at least), trashing something (eg. a car using a public trash can) ... mike says i am refined... so u reckon i am still refined?

i know i would probably get a smack at the back of the head from my eloquent father...

anyway,

suddenly, i am demanding... (with regards to her) ... i asked her, why dont you tell James yourself? well it was to late, its already out there... but i soon realised i was being unreasonable... yes i know its hard...

but i am not feeling that way anymore... found out why i have had that naggy feeling... HAHAHAHA.... BITCH!!!! ok laughing again...

but what have i become?

moving on...

was in school by 11pm... ran around looking for a lecturer, and realised it had been a futile exercise. so i stopped running and stayed at one place - the Coordinator's Office... well didnt see anyone except for the secretary. that was good enuff...

she will be back at 230pm...

i said ok... but after a few steps... i realised i couldnt because class begins at 2pm you moron!!! ah anyway, off i gingerly went to enjoy my lunch... 2 cheese omelete with bread while bitchin with this Fijian who claims he is Singaporean whose pretending to do his Arts Management Degree... hehehe... sorry Anuar...

and then it was 2pm... so off i went... for class ... well firstly i couldnt find the class... cos.. the number jumped... and when i found it no one was around!!!! bloody hell!!! so i did the next wisest thing... go to SIMO and checked the timetable again....

and what do you know... they have changed it... hmmm ...

baik ah...

but it's all good... now i can see my course coordinator... yay...

sort things out....

ok should i do... Shakespeare or Australian contemporary lit and society? found out i cant cos there is a clash... so i have half decided to do... Shakespeare...

still deciding... it is not too late to change...

2 hrs to go... before lecture... now what shall i do...

luv u so much...